Feb-06-2019, 09:06 PM (UTC)
Hiya She Who Reflects. 
My heart goes out to you in how you felt throughout this. I can relate insofar as these books have enriched my entire perspective on the world and I feel I have lived my life through these characters whilst reading about them so much so that I feel that they're personal friends of mine, especially the Fool who is so uniquely brilliant in all his facets; hence, the loss and heartache and torture they've gone through I have felt keenly.
However, my perspective might be tempered with my own personal hardships . . abuse I have experienced in the past that will always be a dark part of my soul but has become a source of strength in my life as well because of having not let it defeat me from living and dreaming. The loss of my father last year whose loss to me is so profound I feel like Fitz when he lost Nighteyes or Burrich . . or both. I felt forged after he'd left this earth. I began reading the Farseer trilogy right when I returned to my home in England after burying my dad's ashes beneath his favourite tree in my mom's front garden. I was bereft and I couldn't move on. Utterly forged of heart. Until I started reading Hobb's books. They touched my life so deeply I owe her a world of debt for writing them and helping me to realise that life is change. And with it, we must go on and carry the memories of all those we deeply love in our hearts with us like a dragon who consumes the dead does when their memories remain with them. I found that Hobb gave the Fool, Fitz, and Nighteyes and all of them the best gift of all--the three were always one whole being and always belonged together. It was meant to be and it was fitting for them to go into the stone wolf to be together for all time. A little bit of immortality. It's all they ever wanted--the Fool wanted all of Fitz's heart and Fitz wanted to be with his Beloved, and Nighteyes said to Fitz that they were one whole complete thing when they were together. This was the best way for them to continue like this in perfect harmony.
It's also possible that because I read the Fitz and the Fool after I read the Farseer trilogy I already had a complete vision of how things were going to turn out. I think if I had read the Tawny Man trilogy directly after the Farseer trilogy or LST, I would have felt deeply heartbroken for days and it would have been hard to move on. However, everything was so beautifully tied together at the end of Fitz and the Fool, I feel speechless that you felt you couldn't move on . . .
I can only leave you with Robin's wise words, "I healed. Not completely. A scar is never the same as good flesh, but it stops bleeding." It does stop bleeding.
My heart goes out to you in how you felt throughout this. I can relate insofar as these books have enriched my entire perspective on the world and I feel I have lived my life through these characters whilst reading about them so much so that I feel that they're personal friends of mine, especially the Fool who is so uniquely brilliant in all his facets; hence, the loss and heartache and torture they've gone through I have felt keenly.
However, my perspective might be tempered with my own personal hardships . . abuse I have experienced in the past that will always be a dark part of my soul but has become a source of strength in my life as well because of having not let it defeat me from living and dreaming. The loss of my father last year whose loss to me is so profound I feel like Fitz when he lost Nighteyes or Burrich . . or both. I felt forged after he'd left this earth. I began reading the Farseer trilogy right when I returned to my home in England after burying my dad's ashes beneath his favourite tree in my mom's front garden. I was bereft and I couldn't move on. Utterly forged of heart. Until I started reading Hobb's books. They touched my life so deeply I owe her a world of debt for writing them and helping me to realise that life is change. And with it, we must go on and carry the memories of all those we deeply love in our hearts with us like a dragon who consumes the dead does when their memories remain with them. I found that Hobb gave the Fool, Fitz, and Nighteyes and all of them the best gift of all--the three were always one whole being and always belonged together. It was meant to be and it was fitting for them to go into the stone wolf to be together for all time. A little bit of immortality. It's all they ever wanted--the Fool wanted all of Fitz's heart and Fitz wanted to be with his Beloved, and Nighteyes said to Fitz that they were one whole complete thing when they were together. This was the best way for them to continue like this in perfect harmony.
It's also possible that because I read the Fitz and the Fool after I read the Farseer trilogy I already had a complete vision of how things were going to turn out. I think if I had read the Tawny Man trilogy directly after the Farseer trilogy or LST, I would have felt deeply heartbroken for days and it would have been hard to move on. However, everything was so beautifully tied together at the end of Fitz and the Fool, I feel speechless that you felt you couldn't move on . . .
I can only leave you with Robin's wise words, "I healed. Not completely. A scar is never the same as good flesh, but it stops bleeding." It does stop bleeding.
Discover where you are now, and go on from there, making the best of things. Accept your life, and you might survive it. If you hold back from it, insisting this is not your life, not where you are meant to be, life will pass you by. You may not die from such foolishness, but you might as well be dead for all the good your life will do you or anyone else. - Vivacia to Wintrow, The Mad Ship
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