If you had the Skill or the Wit, would you use it?

[Farseer]

You raise an interesting point and WELCOME to thePlenty, Syrocko !

***To save myself having to put spoiler codes through every couple of sentences, my post contains spoilers for all books except RWC.***

I know that Fitz etc often thinks about succumbing to the 'appeal' of the Skill River and I wonder if it was this release that he thought of when he contemplated suicide (as a consequence of on-going and constant bad dreams) during his visit to The Cursed Shores. What easier way to suicide?!

Certainly, Althea definitely thought of it, though she didn't/doesn't realise that her connection with Vivacia etc was anything Skill-related, as I believe it to be...she just thought she would 'let go'.

Still, I wonder if it is as simple as just 'letting go' and thereafter all is wonderful, as Fitz suggests? That you lose your sense of self and become part of something greater and therefore lose all sense of time and connection, and you are content with this (if you are even aware of being content or not content at all?!)?

If it IS the case, then it could well be the way to go BUT what if what happens is the same as what happens to the dragons within the liveships? What if, once you succumb to the Skill, you do lose your sense of self, connection etc and you do become part of something greater BUT you are aware that you have lost it...you are pushed down into the darkness whilst the greatest of the personalities within the Skill dominates it?

An example of this would be how Bolt felt as the suppressed personality and then, in turn, Vivacia, when Vivacia was finally overpowered by Bolt. It was only when both were able to have their existence acknowledged that they both felt significant and content.

Would losing oneself in the Skill have a similar outcome? Wouldn't losing oneself in the Skill in effect be like allowing oneself to be dominated by a more powerful personality or personalities? Even Verity told Fitz that when he went into his dragon, the dragon would be him, not him and Kettle. In this, it seems to me that Kettle, though also giving of her whole self to the dragon, chose the role of the submissive personality within a memory stone form (as opposed to a wizardwood or pure Skill form).

In saying all of that, it is interesting to note that Fitz could tell that King Wisdom's connection with the world had significantly faded over time. He had truly become his stone 'dragon'....with this example, it could be said that possibly in all forms of Skill, wizardwood or memory stone, every being does eventually end up finding that disconnected, though euphoric, state.

I suppose, in the end, if one becomes so completely disconnected from all they know, they are entirely without the capacity to realise what they have lost eg it took some time for Fitz to realise that he had things to go back to when he was suspended within the Skill for a month, prior to his return to Buckkeep from Aslevjal. Losing oneself in the Skill would literally be like suicide/death...while you would go on 'existing' within the Skill River, you would be aware of nothing and so therefore would long for or miss nothing? Neither would you be euphoric, I wouldn't think...you'd just 'be'...?

As with most times, I haven't given any real thought to my responses here (have had no internet connection for a while so I needed to involve myself in a thread as soon as I could, to appease my out-of-control withdrawal symptoms !!). It is all very interesting though, and will give me much to think about (like my mind isn't already crowded with riddles and theories?!).