Jul-12-2011, 02:25 PM (UTC)
(This post was last modified: Jul-12-2011, 02:36 PM (UTC) by Farseer.)
Oh, my! 
I must admit to experiencing some rising apprehension as I’ve read through this thread but thankfully reached the end able to breathe a sigh of relief! 
It's so easy to give, and take, offence with topics such as this but, despite it being somewhat fraught with danger, I gave it the nod as I think it prompts healthy discussion in very much the same vein as ML's short story 'Cut' did. Such discussion then leads to (hopefully) greater tolerance, acceptance and even understanding. Like learning that barbarians from the Six Duchies are not so barbaric, or *Words Like Coins spoiler* , or that dim-witted or scaled peoples need not be slaughtered as infants. Sometimes though, it's enough just to accept that we are different, and so feel differently about different things.
I love this, Albertosaurus Rex, as the latter was a gutsy admission to make.
While she was still at home with us, my mother pierced my ears when I was five years old. I didn’t have a choice in the matter and guess I just thought, then and later, that it was some kind of rite of passage into girlhood, or something…
When I was about thirteen, I decided I was going to copy my more-than-a little-rebellious, seven-years-my-senior, older sister who had long had the outer sides of both of her ears filled with earrings. I thought what she’d done was “ugly”, I thought it was “stupid”...but I nonetheless pierced my ears a second time (with a dirty sewing needle and no ice-cube or piece of apple at the back) because I knew quite well just how much my “estranged” mother hated what my sister had done and I wanted to annoy her as well (I am not at all proud of this reaction of mine by the way!).
It is a long story (aren’t they always?!), so I won’t bore you with the details, but I couldn't think of a better way to spite her, to be brutally forthright. A goody-two-shoes almost to my core, it was also the limit that I was prepared to reach when it came to “being bad” or making a strong statement that I was unhappy!
In this instance, I guess it could be said that I was indeed experiencing inner pain that then manifested itself as piercings, but only to a limit that was acceptable to me. Hmm, I've never really thought about it like that! There were serious reasons why I wanted to act out at that time...reasons that I never disclosed to my mother and which even, fairly recently, kept me from her deathbed.
Anyhow
, suffice it to say that I have regretted the decision from the very moment that I stood back to survey my reflection in the mirror with the two, new holes in my ears. I want to kick myself every time I look in the mirror, even now. I did it under the influence of anger, confusion and poor judgment, and it was an undesired, unchangeable modification. To make it worse, my mother reacted not at all to the change and most likely never even noticed!
My only daughter is nine, soon to be ten, and many of her friends have their ears pierced, and have had them pierced for many years. My daughter doesn’t. Do I plan to organize this for one day not too far away? No, and I can’t quite explain why…except to say that I feel like the decision should be left up to her, and it’s not something she’s interested in doing just yet.
Her lobes are like blank canvases and, to me, a hole in each would also make them “less perfect” somehow? I just don’t know…
Still, I have long been vocal in our home about my opinions on tattoos and piercings etc and have thus seemingly influenced both of my sons in this regard. Now both young men, they don’t have or want any of either, or anything else, at least for the time being (now that I’ve said that, I’ll hop on Facebook and see something like “I have an eagle tattoo right across my back and a nose ring” on one of my sons’ status updates!).
Possibly our rural lifestyle also has had much to do with it as we really are quite sheltered (aka hillbillies??), though I do know a number of people, even family members who had the same rural upbringing as I had, who have tattoos. One of my brothers even went so far as to tattoo himself on his hands and legs with a sewing needle and pen ink (I even held the bottle of ink for him once), and my youngest sister had to cover a huge tattoo on the top of her arm for her wedding day – it was unlikely to win her any points with her new husband if she were to openly display her old boyfriend’s name on such a significant occasion!
There is no rhyme or reason as to why I think I should not have a say in one thing (pierced ears) and yet have a strong say in another (tattoos etc).
I also chose not to circumcise my sons, despite it going against the grain of my social and family circles. I don’t know why. It was a conscious choice, yes, but I can’t say how I came to make it. At times I wondered if I had done the right thing, especially when others reacted to the news with horror and wilting criticism, but the same could be said of my choices to breastfeed and use cloth nappies, rather than use formula and disposables. There’s nothing like having a child to expose you to criticism, be it from family, friends or strangers in the street!
After telling him about ‘Cut’, I had a discussion about male and female circumcision with one of my sons (almost seventeen) not so long ago and he said that he’d have been quite angry with me if I’d chosen circumcision for him (not to mention that he was horrified to learn that there was such a thing as female circumcision ). Of course, that is easy for him to say now, and he would likely feel differently if he’d grown up having been circumcised all along. Who can say?
It is such a hard thing to balance, and it could drive us nuts if we let it. If my eldest son rang me tomorrow and told me that he’d hung himself from meat hooks attached to a ceiling, I’d need smelling salts to revive me (possibly even a defibrillator!)...and yet, my husband and I have just paid thousands and thousands of dollars so he can learn to hurtle through the sky in an aeroplane and a helicopter. I pray that he, six months off from turning nineteen, will make it at least to his thirtieth birthday before he falls out of the sky just so I won’t hold myself responsible for his death! Or do I instead feel good about myself because I dissuaded him from pursuing a military career?!
I’d be groaning if he rang and told me that he’d dyed his hair or pierced his nipple (honestly, a short-lived fascination with hair gel was bad enough!), despite the fact that for the last two years he’s had to put up with braces, and now a permanent retainer, just so that his teeth can look straight. Truly, you'd be reading the words of a hypocrite.
We all experience different things in life and obviously what seems odd or shocking or ugly to one may simply be the norm or beauty to another. All very interesting to chat (ramble) about though!
I must admit to experiencing some rising apprehension as I’ve read through this thread but thankfully reached the end able to breathe a sigh of relief! It's so easy to give, and take, offence with topics such as this but, despite it being somewhat fraught with danger, I gave it the nod as I think it prompts healthy discussion in very much the same vein as ML's short story 'Cut' did. Such discussion then leads to (hopefully) greater tolerance, acceptance and even understanding. Like learning that barbarians from the Six Duchies are not so barbaric, or *Words Like Coins spoiler* , or that dim-witted or scaled peoples need not be slaughtered as infants. Sometimes though, it's enough just to accept that we are different, and so feel differently about different things.
![[+]](/images/collapse_collapsed.png "[+]")
Spoiler(Jun-27-2011, 06:04 PM (UTC))Albertosaurus Rex Wrote: All in all, I do want to stress that although I have my theories about what drives people to pierce, I am still very interested in hearing those reasons from piercers themselves. If anything, I have learned in recent years to become more tolerant of other lifestyles.
I love this, Albertosaurus Rex, as the latter was a gutsy admission to make.
While she was still at home with us, my mother pierced my ears when I was five years old. I didn’t have a choice in the matter and guess I just thought, then and later, that it was some kind of rite of passage into girlhood, or something…
When I was about thirteen, I decided I was going to copy my more-than-a little-rebellious, seven-years-my-senior, older sister who had long had the outer sides of both of her ears filled with earrings. I thought what she’d done was “ugly”, I thought it was “stupid”...but I nonetheless pierced my ears a second time (with a dirty sewing needle and no ice-cube or piece of apple at the back) because I knew quite well just how much my “estranged” mother hated what my sister had done and I wanted to annoy her as well (I am not at all proud of this reaction of mine by the way!).
It is a long story (aren’t they always?!), so I won’t bore you with the details, but I couldn't think of a better way to spite her, to be brutally forthright. A goody-two-shoes almost to my core, it was also the limit that I was prepared to reach when it came to “being bad” or making a strong statement that I was unhappy!
(Jun-27-2011, 06:04 PM (UTC))Albertosaurus Rex Wrote: I often suspect that piercing might in many cases be a subconscious manifestation of inner pain.
In this instance, I guess it could be said that I was indeed experiencing inner pain that then manifested itself as piercings, but only to a limit that was acceptable to me. Hmm, I've never really thought about it like that! There were serious reasons why I wanted to act out at that time...reasons that I never disclosed to my mother and which even, fairly recently, kept me from her deathbed.
Anyhow
, suffice it to say that I have regretted the decision from the very moment that I stood back to survey my reflection in the mirror with the two, new holes in my ears. I want to kick myself every time I look in the mirror, even now. I did it under the influence of anger, confusion and poor judgment, and it was an undesired, unchangeable modification. To make it worse, my mother reacted not at all to the change and most likely never even noticed! My only daughter is nine, soon to be ten, and many of her friends have their ears pierced, and have had them pierced for many years. My daughter doesn’t. Do I plan to organize this for one day not too far away? No, and I can’t quite explain why…except to say that I feel like the decision should be left up to her, and it’s not something she’s interested in doing just yet.
Her lobes are like blank canvases and, to me, a hole in each would also make them “less perfect” somehow? I just don’t know…
Still, I have long been vocal in our home about my opinions on tattoos and piercings etc and have thus seemingly influenced both of my sons in this regard. Now both young men, they don’t have or want any of either, or anything else, at least for the time being (now that I’ve said that, I’ll hop on Facebook and see something like “I have an eagle tattoo right across my back and a nose ring” on one of my sons’ status updates!).
Possibly our rural lifestyle also has had much to do with it as we really are quite sheltered (aka hillbillies??), though I do know a number of people, even family members who had the same rural upbringing as I had, who have tattoos. One of my brothers even went so far as to tattoo himself on his hands and legs with a sewing needle and pen ink (I even held the bottle of ink for him once), and my youngest sister had to cover a huge tattoo on the top of her arm for her wedding day – it was unlikely to win her any points with her new husband if she were to openly display her old boyfriend’s name on such a significant occasion!
There is no rhyme or reason as to why I think I should not have a say in one thing (pierced ears) and yet have a strong say in another (tattoos etc).
I also chose not to circumcise my sons, despite it going against the grain of my social and family circles. I don’t know why. It was a conscious choice, yes, but I can’t say how I came to make it. At times I wondered if I had done the right thing, especially when others reacted to the news with horror and wilting criticism, but the same could be said of my choices to breastfeed and use cloth nappies, rather than use formula and disposables. There’s nothing like having a child to expose you to criticism, be it from family, friends or strangers in the street!
After telling him about ‘Cut’, I had a discussion about male and female circumcision with one of my sons (almost seventeen) not so long ago and he said that he’d have been quite angry with me if I’d chosen circumcision for him (not to mention that he was horrified to learn that there was such a thing as female circumcision
). Of course, that is easy for him to say now, and he would likely feel differently if he’d grown up having been circumcised all along. Who can say?It is such a hard thing to balance, and it could drive us nuts if we let it. If my eldest son rang me tomorrow and told me that he’d hung himself from meat hooks attached to a ceiling, I’d need smelling salts to revive me (possibly even a defibrillator!)...and yet, my husband and I have just paid thousands and thousands of dollars so he can learn to hurtle through the sky in an aeroplane and a helicopter. I pray that he, six months off from turning nineteen, will make it at least to his thirtieth birthday before he falls out of the sky just so I won’t hold myself responsible for his death! Or do I instead feel good about myself because I dissuaded him from pursuing a military career?!
I’d be groaning if he rang and told me that he’d dyed his hair or pierced his nipple (honestly, a short-lived fascination with hair gel was bad enough!
), despite the fact that for the last two years he’s had to put up with braces, and now a permanent retainer, just so that his teeth can look straight. Truly, you'd be reading the words of a hypocrite.We all experience different things in life and obviously what seems odd or shocking or ugly to one may simply be the norm or beauty to another. All very interesting to chat (ramble) about though!
"I am the Catalyst, and I came to change all things. Prophets become warriors, dragons hunt as wolves."
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