(General talk about) jokes and humour

[Nuytsia]

Errr the first part of the riddle makes me think of 'light' but I don't know that it could be said to 'eat sheep'...... .........................it's not a flood is it!!!??

The Rainbow Serpent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Farseer]

The Rainbow Serpent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*thumbs up* I'm going with this! If it isn't the answer, it should be!!

['thul]

nope, not any serpent...

[Farseer]

^ You might have to put us out of our misery with this one, 'thul beings.

Like me, have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking that surely you can't look that old? Here's a joke I read yesterday that made me laugh:

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma, which had his full name.

Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some thirty-odd years before. Could he be the same guy who I'd had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, grey-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he'd examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

"Yes. Yes, I did," he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1967. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, grey-haired man asked, "What did you teach?"

['thul]

nice joke...

oh, and the answer to 'thul's riddle is simple...

dont click spoiler if you dont want the answer...

Spoiler

a woolen rug

[Farseer]

Ah! A little more and I'd have got there!

I'm not overly a fan of jokes, and usually groan when my family want to share them with me, but here's another one that made me grin:

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem and so gave him a book on assertiveness. He read it on the way home and had finished the book by the time he reached his house.
The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.
Pointing his finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight and, when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me a bath so that I can relax. When I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
"The funeral director," said his wife.

The wife in me thought, "Oh, yeah!"

['thul]

That joke reminds 'thul of an old norwegian cartoon... Theme is a hospital where pretty much everything goes wrong. One of the main surgeons generally operates roaring drunk.
anyways... the strip...
Some biker fellow built with approximate shoulder width of 1.5m or so (and similarly muscled) is in at one of the doctor's for treatment. The biker is speaking of the household situation, relationship between him and his wife
Biker: "This ship has only one captain, and that is ME!"
Doc: "and then your wife beat you to a pulp?"
Biker (sad): "yes."

The translation is done based on vague recollection, but it seems to be a similar case...

[Farseer]

Sounds about right, 'thul beings...and my husband agrees!

---

I did recently compose a "Tom Swifty" about Robin Hobb. A Tom Swifty is a quote, always attributed to Tom, in which the verb or adverb plays into the quote.

I must have passed over these in a rush one day but, reading back over old posts, these were BRILLIANT, AR!

[fool-ish]

Ah! A little more and I'd have got there!

I'm not overly a fan of jokes, and usually groan when my family want to share them with me, but here's another one that made me grin:

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem and so gave him a book on assertiveness. He read it on the way home and had finished the book by the time he reached his house.
The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.
Pointing his finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight and, when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me a bath so that I can relax. When I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
"The funeral director," said his wife.

The wife in me thought, "Oh, yeah!"

[Farseer]

Don't ask me why I am on here posting a joke at 10:36pm when I have so many other far more important things to do before a long trip in the car tomorrow, and other such trips on Friday and Sunday! Nevertheless, I just had to share this:

If Luke Skywalker got lost in the outer rim (of the galaxy) on his way back to Corruscant, how would he get home?

Spoiler

He would have to take an R2-Detour!!!!!

Oh, c'mon...it made you smile!