'thul's story project...

['thul]

nah... so hard to edit with that... Far easier to use a primary computer instead... only thing missing is the neural interface... would've made writing so much easier...

70 of 95 pages rewritten. Expecting serious expansion on the remaining 25 pages.

['thul]

rewritten another 14 pages today. Finished up till the first interlude now. That interlude is set to cover about 10-12 years in a span of about 5-6 pages, though that might be modified later on, as its not rewritten yet. The current story (concerning chiefly one character) covers about 24000 words. (about 19400 rewritten, 21 pages left)

'thul have laid some plans for the story after the rewrite, though much of that will include another section with other characters. The Settled and the Deep Dwellers will feature there. Details on both of those are needed before the story with the current key characters can continue much.
The Deep dwellers will to some degree be vampires. Not all traits chosen yet, but some have been picked out.
- Not infectious bite
- sanguivorous
- probably blood-transmission.
- Slow change. No overnight transformation from A to B.
- no bonfires in sunlight, though they might have low UV resistance (i.e. easy sunburns)
- Some enhanced senses (not sure which ones)
- extended lifespan (not immortality, though.)
- probably killable as if like other men and women.
- Thinking creatures. Not mindless beasts. (That one trait is 100% certain)

[fool-ish]

Oh cool! Vampires!

['thul]

aside from the stories that take in essentially every supernatural species, these beings have not really come across a story that has both dragons and vampires. Especially not where they are both important.
That alone is reason enough to have them both. Combine that with the fact that 'thul like them both, and you can see where it is heading.

These beings have now finished up the rewrite of the first section. It ended up at 109 size A5 pages. a bit below a doubling in length from original draft.

['thul]

These beings have now written a short text describing the Deep-dwellers, what would in pass as vampires on the world known as Tellus. 'thul decided to write it in a sort of story form, though it cannot be used in that way in the real story. Imagine the one telling the below stuff being a researcher who is not in possession of all the facts, who then guesses what might be truth out from legends and stories.

Spoiler

Changed – Deep-dwellers
The deep dwellers are a well-known species. Rarely seen, but still well-known. in appearance, they are generally like the settled, though they have certain distinguishing traits. Their eyes tend to be slightly larger, though this can be unreliable, as the settled have variations in eye size. They are also known to have very pale skin, but this trait is shared by many settled and all the members of the Faith. When exposed to sunlight, the Deep-dwellers generally suffer, as they have low resistance to it. Since many settled rarely leave the cities, this too is unreliable. They are said to have elongated canines, though they may have evolved some way to hide these, making such identification difficult while they are alive. Though they can eat normal food the way most men do, the deep-dwellers gain only minimal nourishment from it, most of it passing through their system completely. That too makes identification problematic. The only real way to identify one is either to catch one in the act of feeding, or to somehow inspect its teeth. the canines will be hollow, leading back to a complex system of veins that process the blood drunk from its victims. Because they do not take nourishment from regular food, they are nearly immune to most poisons. This however, is not very reliable identification, since most see the death of the deep-dweller as the goal, not the death of everyone else. No deep-dweller will voluntarily submit to such inspection, so the sole practical way of identifying a deep-dweller while it is alive is to catch it in the act of feeding. If a deep dweller is dead, it is easy to identify, as canine retraction muscles relax, internal organs tend to be different and a corpse does not object to scrutinous inspection.
Considering the fact that deep dwellers either are born from each other (fairly rare) or are made from regular men and women, their similarities are easily explained. However, while men, be they settled, nomad, pack or even Faith, feed on normal food, the Deep dwellers can only truly nourish themselves on blood. Preferably the blood of men, though the blood of animals will serve in the absence of manblood. In other words, men are omnivores, Deep-Dwellers are sanguivores. Their saliva is significantly different from that of men in that it affects the blood of the victim. First by preventing clotting, then later by aiding the victim towards quick healing. Rumors say that the saliva also affects the memories of the victim, though that is unverified. Rumors abound as to how they create more of themselves, some saying that a single bite will transmit the condition. Anyone will realize that cannot be correct, for they would have been far more common were that the case. Bites would seem logical, yet most species do not procreate through the same organs they take nourishment from. another rumor is that their blood is the key, though how this works is unknown. Perhaps this is the case, as it would in a way make sense. They are fairly rare, and getting blood from one would prove difficult, if not impossible without consent.
It is also said that they live far longer and remain young longer than most men, though few have the patience for such test. Among the traits common to them is also that of enhanced eyesight and hearing, as well as possibly greater strength.
In the end, all that is known about them is that they are very hard to identify, more myth than fact is known about them. They are said to wield magic, though that might not be true for all.
Modes of dress
The Deep Dwellers dress just like the Settled, mainly to blend in better with their food. They might wear less obvious clothes when hunting food.
Government and organization of society
Little to nothing is known about their culture. Not even if they have a society of their own. It is presumed that they do, but if that is true, then it is seamlessly melded into that of the Settled. Because they rarely show tendencies towards fighting their Settled kin, few leaders of the settled bother to track them down, focusing instead on their enemies and those that break their laws.
Economy
Supposedly same as the settled, though they might also use feeding rights as currency between each other. Not verified.

'thul believe that the truth about them is that they will not so much have hollowed canines, nor even elongated ones, but instead have a second set of canines that are outside the row of regular teeth. An observer will not note this difference on a quick glance, but will instead presume the long teeth are the canines.

any trait you feel is missing? not covered properly?

['thul]

ooh.. triple post...

These beings have now written up more on the society of the nomads. Its now a far more convoluted society than it used to be. No longer truly reminiscent of any culture on "tellus". its so nice to play around with genetics without need to defend it through natural developments.
The nomads tend to have a very loose society, sexuality is as common as eating or breathing. It just is.
imagine a society of humans where the average gestation period is about 200 days (about 66 days less than on tellus), full sexual maturity comes around age 11, and menopause is not until a member of the society is well into its sixties seventies. of course, aging and the disadvantages from that also comes far later, near death. No slow collapse into senility. That is the essence of Nomad society in this story.

oh, and the society is naturally rather matriarchal. The women reproduce easily and rarely have the complications common on tellus. The most common complications like that have been evolved away from generations earlier. Raising children is naturally a community effort there, mainly through the mother and her extended family. a child will not only have cousins, brothers and sisters of similar ages, but also uncles, aunts, nephews nieces and so on as well.

would you agree that such society is properly unique?

[fool-ish]

These beings have now written a short text describing the Deep-dwellers, what would in pass as vampires on the world known as Tellus. 'thul decided to write it in a sort of story form, though it cannot be used in that way in the real story. Imagine the one telling the below stuff being a researcher who is not in possession of all the facts, who then guesses what might be truth out from legends and stories.

Spoiler

Changed – Deep-dwellers
The deep dwellers are a well-known species. Rarely seen, but still well-known. in appearance, they are generally like the settled, though they have certain distinguishing traits. Their eyes tend to be slightly larger, though this can be unreliable, as the settled have variations in eye size. They are also known to have very pale skin, but this trait is shared by many settled and all the members of the Faith. When exposed to sunlight, the Deep-dwellers generally suffer, as they have low resistance to it. Since many settled rarely leave the cities, this too is unreliable. They are said to have elongated canines, though they may have evolved some way to hide these, making such identification difficult while they are alive. Though they can eat normal food the way most men do, the deep-dwellers gain only minimal nourishment from it, most of it passing through their system completely. That too makes identification problematic. The only real way to identify one is either to catch one in the act of feeding, or to somehow inspect its teeth. the canines will be hollow, leading back to a complex system of veins that process the blood drunk from its victims. Because they do not take nourishment from regular food, they are nearly immune to most poisons. This however, is not very reliable identification, since most see the death of the deep-dweller as the goal, not the death of everyone else. No deep-dweller will voluntarily submit to such inspection, so the sole practical way of identifying a deep-dweller while it is alive is to catch it in the act of feeding. If a deep dweller is dead, it is easy to identify, as canine retraction muscles relax, internal organs tend to be different and a corpse does not object to scrutinous inspection.
Considering the fact that deep dwellers either are born from each other (fairly rare) or are made from regular men and women, their similarities are easily explained. However, while men, be they settled, nomad, pack or even Faith, feed on normal food, the Deep dwellers can only truly nourish themselves on blood. Preferably the blood of men, though the blood of animals will serve in the absence of manblood. In other words, men are omnivores, Deep-Dwellers are sanguivores. Their saliva is significantly different from that of men in that it affects the blood of the victim. First by preventing clotting, then later by aiding the victim towards quick healing. Rumors say that the saliva also affects the memories of the victim, though that is unverified. Rumors abound as to how they create more of themselves, some saying that a single bite will transmit the condition. Anyone will realize that cannot be correct, for they would have been far more common were that the case. Bites would seem logical, yet most species do not procreate through the same organs they take nourishment from. another rumor is that their blood is the key, though how this works is unknown. Perhaps this is the case, as it would in a way make sense. They are fairly rare, and getting blood from one would prove difficult, if not impossible without consent.
It is also said that they live far longer and remain young longer than most men, though few have the patience for such test. Among the traits common to them is also that of enhanced eyesight and hearing, as well as possibly greater strength.
In the end, all that is known about them is that they are very hard to identify, more myth than fact is known about them. They are said to wield magic, though that might not be true for all.
Modes of dress
The Deep Dwellers dress just like the Settled, mainly to blend in better with their food. They might wear less obvious clothes when hunting food.
Government and organization of society
Little to nothing is known about their culture. Not even if they have a society of their own. It is presumed that they do, but if that is true, then it is seamlessly melded into that of the Settled. Because they rarely show tendencies towards fighting their Settled kin, few leaders of the settled bother to track them down, focusing instead on their enemies and those that break their laws.
Economy
Supposedly same as the settled, though they might also use feeding rights as currency between each other. Not verified.

'thul believe that the truth about them is that they will not so much have hollowed canines, nor even elongated ones, but instead have a second set of canines that are outside the row of regular teeth. An observer will not note this difference on a quick glance, but will instead presume the long teeth are the canines.

any trait you feel is missing? not covered properly?

Nope, I don't think so. Although, I must ask if they are 'the beautiful people' as we usually find they are (with one or two exceptions) in tales of vampires?

['thul]

Not decided. They won't be any uglier than regular people, though. And they'll be alive.
It doesn't make sense for all to be perfect-looking, but how it'll be is something that will only reveal itself when the writing starts... Some details can be decided ahead of time, others cannot. some details are decided ahead of time and then change with the writing.

What did you think of the basic layout for the nomads, fool-ish?

Oh, and would you find it odd to have clothes woven of metallic threads?

The part written after the deep dwellers and the nomads was the settled. Where the nomads have a loose society with only a vague level of rulership, the settled have the opposite, an overly rigid system of technocracy. aside from the rigidness, such rule is far more sensible. rather than politicians thinking they know stuff then deciding stuff based on their mistaken ideas (or ideals), a technocracy is a system where those with the actual knowledge (engineers, scientists, etc.) are the ones to make decisions.

[fool-ish]

Not decided. They won't be any uglier than regular people, though. And they'll be alive.
It doesn't make sense for all to be perfect-looking, but how it'll be is something that will only reveal itself when the writing starts... Some details can be decided ahead of time, others cannot. some details are decided ahead of time and then change with the writing.

What did you think of the basic layout for the nomads, fool-ish?

Oh, and would you find it odd to have clothes woven of metallic threads?

The part written after the deep dwellers and the nomads was the settled. Where the nomads have a loose society with only a vague level of rulership, the settled have the opposite, an overly rigid system of technocracy. aside from the rigidness, such rule is far more sensible. rather than politicians thinking they know stuff then deciding stuff based on their mistaken ideas (or ideals), a technocracy is a system where those with the actual knowledge (engineers, scientists, etc.) are the ones to make decisions.

I quite like the idea of the nomads lifestyle, their 'freedom' I suppose is what draws me the most. Though I think I'd have to try to think outside of the box, as it were, with regards to their 'relationships.' See, from what you've said about their sexuality and extended families, I can't decide if they're gonna be promiscuous, interbred or none of those at all...i.e. all quite normal, once I've got my head round the early maturity. But to answer your previous question, yes, I think they are unique.

Oh and I think I'd find clothes woven of metallic threads not so much odd, as itchy! I'd wager they'd look pretty good though

['thul]

Inbreeding is carefully managed, as the nomad tribes operate with oral history, so they must have excellent memories. Further writing will reveal whether relationships in the tribes are based on monogamy or not, but inbred will not be a common trait. Of course, a possible result of inbreeding in a high-evolutionary world like this one could be new sub-species instead of just a heap of bad traits popping up. But since 'thul know that books do influence readers somewhat, it would not be right to encourage inbreeding.

The tribes have a simple, yet harsh, way of dealing with those that do not follow tribal customs.
Banishment.
It is effectively a death sentence, both in how dangerous it is to move out in the wilds alone and in the loss of a close-knit community. It not only saves the work of dealing with corpses of the lawbreakers, but is often far worse than mere execution, making sure that rules are followed by more out of fear of banishment.

If the threads are thin enough and are perfectly rounded, then it should not be itchy. however, it is not unusual for Metalweave to be lined with regular cloth on the inside.